Journey--Part 2

For me it was a spiritual journey, searching and becoming closer to myself. This interior journey parallels the external journey--grasping at the mysteries of life and probing into the heart where true love can be found. I don't want to sound like I am even close to where I am going but the small steps that I am taking are giving me a better sense of why I'm here.
To understand the influences of my outer life and to understand the desires that influence my feelings and actions...and ultimately discard them, to learn about the beauty of God's truth and to search for and acquire it is shari'at...... Will I ever find any of this on my journey, I do not know but it is a journey worth taking. Will I ever embrace that which is correct and reject these passions, I do not know. Will I ever be willing to listen and actually believe and trust, I do not know.
Is the world illusory and do we live in this illusory world with our bodies and physical self as we seek a spiritual path and inner transformation from a physical being to a light being? Are outer obligations necessary in order to achieve or embark on the journey? Do they really help the process? Do I want to admit that I, and all human beings, achieve a wealth that is incomplete and a happiness that is incomplete? Do I want to possibly believe that I can't struggle further to finally reach a physical completion that is satisfying and worth struggling for? Am I ready for any kind of divine knowledge, unity, and love? Do I possibly want to believe that there is any certainty to anything that cannot be tested and proven?
One heck of a journey to Philadelphia....